Game On

On May 1, 2013, Deb Angstadt went to the emergency room. She was subsequently diagnosed with neuroendocrine cancer. There was no cure. Within two weeks, she was in complete liver failure. Her medical team gave her four to six weeks to live.

 

True to her nature, she stood fast and steady. Her response to her doctors and her husband Curt was a defiant, “Game on.”

 

The first of six rounds of chemotherapy began in mid-May. Within a week, her liver was functioning at nearly 100 percent.

 

“We got a little bit of a miracle,” Curt said. “Through it all, Deb never complained. She felt like she was going to beat it. Her strength was unwavering, unbelievable. To this day, I’m in awe of how she handled it.”

 

In the ensuing months, life became even more challenging for Deb and Curt.

You see, their son David, a sophomore at Collegiate at the time and a talented baseball player, developed a blood clot in his right shoulder and underwent four significant surgeries to repair the damage and prevent future problems.

 

As David recovered, Deb’s condition worsened. Friends reached out in droves. They provided love, encouragement, and sustenance. They sought any possible way to help.

 

“When we heard about Mrs. Angstadt, we thought we could put together something special to honor her,” said Ben Greer, David’s friend, baseball teammate, and a fellow member of the Class of ‘16. “Her fight was so inspirational.

 

“Growing up, my friends and I had a whiffle ball league. It was small scale. I’d always wanted to do a little more with it and have an impact with it.”

 

So in collaboration with David, their classmates Dalton Ruh, Gordon Granger, and E.J. Patterson, Josh Neighbors (Class of 2015), and their faculty sponsor Rob Wedge, Greer created the Deb Angstadt Whiffle Ball Tournament.

 

“It was pretty last-minute as far as planning,” Greer said. “It came together a lot better than we thought.”

 

That’s for sure. The event contested in late spring on the North Mooreland Road athletic fields has attracted dozens of teams during its three-year existence.

 

“Their response was so appropriate and personal,” Curt said of the organizers’ efforts. “The tournament was absolutely perfect. When I was in high school (Mainland Regional in Atlantic County, New Jersey), I ran a whiffle ball tournament for the student council. The parallel was just unbelievable.”

 

Through entry fees, sponsorships, and donations, the initiative has raised $21,175 in Deb’s memory. The American Cancer Society (2014) and Stand Up to Cancer (2015, 2016) are the beneficiaries.

 

Michael Brost, Collegiate’s director of development, took notice. He nominated Greer and his crew for the Youth Philanthropist of the Year Award sponsored by the Association of Fundraising Professionals.

 

This past November 17, the group was honored in a ceremony at the Richmond Convention Center.

 

“Winning was unexpected and actually a little uncomfortable,” said Greer, a freshman at Washington & Lee. “But it was an honor and a reminder that we can be proud of what we’ve done. None of it would have been possible without every single person giving 100 percent effort. Everybody completely embraced their role.”

 

Curt and Deb met their first year at William & Mary. They married at 21 on June 6, 1981. Deb passed away June 3, 2014, three days before their 33^rd anniversary and just after the initial tournament that honored her struggle.

        

“We had a long marriage and a wonderful life together,” Curt said. “There’ve never been any regrets that we got married early. Looking back now, I’m so glad we did.”

 

Both Curt and Deb were business majors. Both earned MBA’s at the University of Richmond. She worked as a marketing consultant for much of her career. He worked as a banker. David, 19, is now a freshman baseball player at his parents’ alma mater and lives in the same dorm complex about 50 yards from where they met.

 

When Deb became ill, Curt was her primary caregiver while trying to help David maintain an even keel.

 

“It was very traumatic,” Curt said. “It was a pretty surreal time.

 

“The support was unbelievable. Some of the baseball moms gave up seeing their children play and stayed with Deb while I went to his games. People offered rides, meals, and anything else we needed.”

 

Through the experience, he received an education he never could have imagined.

 

“It sounds cliché,” Curt said, “but you have to take it one day, sometimes one hour, sometimes one minute at a time. You have to take care of yourself. Do anything you can for stress relief. Exercise. Try to have a little bit of fun if you can. Learn how to accept help from others. I’d never been one to accept help from outside. When people wanted to help, I just said, ‘Sure.’

 

“We used CaringBridge to communicate with folks. It actually became a very powerful medium. It was therapeutic for me at the end of the day to write down what happened. You see the responses. You know you aren’t alone. You cope in different ways. You have to find out what works for you.”

 

For the past two-and-a-half years, Curt and David have soldiered on, reflecting on memories, and drawing strength from each other and from a host of friends.

 

“It’s such a huge life change,” Curt said. “I feel like I’m still recovering. I’m still trying to figure out what the rest of my life looks like.”

 

Curt was in attendance a month ago when the guys from the Class of

’16 received the philanthropy award. As always, he remained in the background, quietly (as is his wont) but proudly absorbing the moment.

 

“When I heard they’d won, I was ecstatic,” he said. “Having them publicly recognized is almost overwhelming. These kids did something pure. Their motives were so pure. I don’t know if I can put it into words.”

 

You did, Curt.  You just did. You did it well.

         -- Weldon Bradshaw